Q: "What is the name for animals that keep their young in pouches?"

A: "Erm, I know this. It's not hermaphrodites..."

Her: "If you could be one part of your body which would it be? I'd be my mouth because without it I couldn't talk or eat or drink."

Him: "I'm sure you could find another hole to talk out of."

Her: "Yeah. [Suddenly realising] Shut up."

"Only gays have girlfriends."

Her: "I tell you, it's on the toilet I have the most thinking time."

Him: "But you don't take long on the toilet. Well, for a girl."

Her: "Yeah, but I think quick."