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"I know what darning is. I'm a woman for fucks sake!"
2.4.07 09:26


"Ahh, the monkey's going nuts for this. He must be supporting Israel."
3.4.07 10:25


"I pulled the fittest Felix at uni."
4.4.07 09:13


To an unsuspecting shop assistant:

"Excuse me, is that the only men's sock section over there? Or do you keep the good stuff somewhere else?"
5.4.07 10:19


Her: "What do you want to do today?"

Me: "Something outside."

Her: "Mmmm...We could go out!"
7.4.07 18:14


"In the RAF they're really strict. The measurements between your ankle and knee and you're knee and hip have to be within a certain range because of the ejaculation seat."
9.4.07 16:19


Her: "Can I tell you what I was dreaming about?"

Him: "Is it weird?"

Her: "Yeah."

Him: "Ok."

Her: "Well, I was one of the Spice Girls..."

10.4.07 23:03


"Have you got winklepickers on?"
11.4.07 18:59


"I know you shouldn't laugh at your own jokes but I crack myself up sometimes."
13.4.07 12:00


"Basically, imagine this is Nazi Germany ok?"
15.4.07 13:58


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